One of the perks of being an actor is having many glorious day jobs ;). One of my day jobs is in a mall…which is dangerous for me…because I shop too much. Shopping has always been one of my favorite things to do. I love to walk through beautiful stores and look at the beautiful fashion, it’s like going to a museum.

Trying on clothes however, is a different story. Actually placing clothes on my body can be v v v triggering for me. CUT TO a montage of me weeping in copious dressing rooms over the years because the size 12 or 14 was still WAY too small on me. Shopping with friends even still usually includes me trying nothing on because a store doesn’t carry my size.

I was shopping in Nordstrom after a shift one day last week and I found so many amazingly adorable things that I will show you now check it out:

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I then tried on a size Large dress that I thought was going to be ok. I am in no way a size Large, but this dress looked generous and you never know, right? Lol. Major wrong. My L white dream quickly turned into an XXXL nightmare. The dress was way too small.

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In the past a dress this small would’ve cued a major mental breakdown and shame spiral that would’ve lasted for hours. I would’ve blamed myself for being so fat, I would’ve cursed God for making me this way, I would’ve told myself that I was so disgusting that no one would ever want me, and it would’ve gone on and on and on.

But last week instead of letting one piece of clothing make me hate myself, I laughed. It’s funny! Look at that dress it’s way too small! The dress doesn’t fit me and that’s O.K.

The next time you are in a dressing room, looking at every inch of your body under horrible lighting and something doesn’t fit, remember these words: The garment is wrong, not you. You are perfect! The dress just is the wrong size. Every single company has different fit models and therefore every brand is going to fit you differently and therefore the size on the tag means literally nothing and therefore the dress is wrong. Not. You.

You are a gorgeous and glorious ray of light from the universe who is magnificent and some fabric doesn’t change that! Look at yourself stuffed like a sausage, laugh, and move onto the next piece of clothing that does fit.

How do you handle dressing room stress? Tell me on Instagram or Facebook!

Today I wanna show you some peasant blouses to help you live your Ren Fair Slut Dreams while I pepper in some deep thoughts on mental health. What could be better? Talking about mental health can feel overwhelming, or triggering, or stressful so I’m here to soften the blow. Working on my mental health is one of the most important parts of my life and I know it could help you too!

DO YOU HEAR THAT? THAT’s the sound of mental health awareness month baby!
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I’ve been in therapy since high school. I went because my parents forced me. The night before my first session I remember being on the phone with a guy I had a HUGE crush on, telling him I was embarrassed about starting therapy and how I thought it was for weak babies. He told me that if it would help then I should think about trying it because it’s not for weak babies it’s brave. I’m really grateful he said that and I’m really grateful my parents sent me because my relationship with my therapist has been the defining relationship in my life.
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Self work is so important to me. Over the past decade it’s what has taken top priority and my therapist is the shit. He is constantly in my corner, being hard on me when I need it, but fully understanding me and what I’m meant to learn in this life. He’s also teaching me energy work and ~*Spiritual Stuff*~ and it’s fucking awesome. I am so lucky he was brought into my life. I don’t know where I’d be without him.

Shopping Intermission

You’ve been reading a lot! Take a break! Look at these cute peasant tops that you could wear to therapy?? :)!

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Click the image to shop if you wish!

I have worked HARD on dealing with my PTSD and anxiety issues in general (I was having panic attacks every night and was hospitalized twice), on getting to know who I am and why I’m here, on how to set boundaries and know my needs, how to communicate my feelings effectively and stand up for myself...so much. All my confidence and all the ways I’m secure in my skin come from my work with my therapist. All of it.
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I am not a weak baby! I am a strong woman! I have SOMUCH left to learn. I still get sad and cry or feel insecure sometimes. I am still learning how to more consistently and kindly implement the lessons I’ve mentioned, and I’m sure there’s a bunch to learn that I’m not even aware of yet.
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I think self work is the purpose of life and it doesn’t stop the whole time we’re on Earth. But! I’ve come a long ass way and I’m proud of the work I’ve done. I also can’t wait to see who I become.
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There is still a stigma surrounding therapy or self work. Humans are still expected to automatically just have everything together or else they are an embarrassing failure. So many people are struggling though, and there’s no shame in admitting that someone helping you would feel nice and make life better! Asking for help when we need it is brave and strong, not weak.

If you’re thinking about starting therapy but you’re unsure message me! Are you already in therapy? What helps your mental health? Let’s chat on Facebook and Instagram. :) <3

Fitting Room Breakdowns: What To Do When Clothes Don't Fit

Shop 10 Peasant Blouses You Need For Summer While I Talk About Mental Health :)

Shopping Intermission