Best Wide-Calf Boots For Fall 2019

Friends! It’s Fall! It’s time to wrap those puppies up in some boots. Last year you loved my suggestions so much that I thought I would make another wide-calf boot post this year! Here is the 6-way-tie for the “Best Boot of 2019” award:

Which are your faves? What boots am I missing? Tell me on Instagram and Facebook.

Dealing With The Other F Word: "Fat"

Fat! That word. Makes people. So uncomfortable. People spend billions of dollars every year to avoid being called that one single word. We give the word “fat” so much power over us, but why? Today I want to talk about how to appropriately handle the word “fat” being thrown around and how to be prepared to have those conversations.

When A Fat Person Describes Themselves As “Fat”:

I have heard the following phrase so much over the course of my life that if I had a nickel for every time I could retire: You’re not fat, you’re beautiful. I know! I never said I was “ugly”, I said I was “fat”. The F word makes people so uncomfortable that a fat person describing themselves makes thin people need to erase our fat experience (because how could anyone ever be cool with being fat right?!). Sometimes it’s because the thin person thinks being fat would be a fate worse than death, sometimes it’s because in the past the thin person feels like they made a fat person feel better with that statement, sometimes the thin person genuinely thinks they are helping. No matter the reason for it though, the thin person is showing that they have bias against that word and against fat itself.

If the fat person drops the f word casually and is not visibly upset while talking, leave it alone! Pretend like the fat person called themselves a brunette or something instead. They said a fact about their body, let them! If the fat person is upset about being fat ask, “why is being fat bad?”. That’s an ally right there, baby! Getting to the core of the issue will help you and the other person figure out the root of that bias and how to tell that root it’s time to get removed from dat heart and brain soil (humor me w this weak metaphor pls)!

When A Thin Person Describes Themselves As “Fat”:

“I feel so fat right now”. “I just ate so much pizza, I’m so fat and disgusting”. “I need to start my diet, I’m getting fat”. “I have this little belly pouch I’m such a fattie”. Unless someone is truly dealing with body dysmorphia, I’m over it. I say “I’m not comfortable talking about this right now, can we talk about something else"?” or I leave. But if you want to engage in a discussion on this topic, I would again ask my thin friend why. Why do they think being fat is bad? Why would being fat be such a horrible death sentence? Why when they feel full, or insecure, or greasy, or bad do they think those feelings are synonymous with “fat”?

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Asking why and getting to the root of things is the only way to go in my opinion. It’ll help you get into the psyche of the person and we can always have more generous hearts when we understand why someone is doing what they’re doing. It’s also good for people to get to the root of their own behavior and it’s always good to evaluate ourselves and figure out why we say or do or believe the things we do!

We all get to define ourselves for ourselves and no one gets to take that truth away from us, but the outside world looks at us and defines us too. If the world looks at a person and would not characterize them as “fat”, that person carries inherent privileges with them and examining our privilege is necessary for all of us to do. If you are benefiting from thin privilege in the outside world, and still using your friends inside to reassure you that you are not a “fat, disgusting, pig” then that’s harmful. If a person that anyone in the outside world would call “fat” wants to calmly and objectively define themselves in that way, let them!

My goal is always to help people feel good about themselves. If a fat person claiming their identity and proudly define themselves as fat makes them feel good, we should let them! If a thin person is using words in a harmful way against themselves, let’s ask why and get to the root of the issue so that they can define themselves in more positive terms! Let’s learn to love ourselves and unlearn that “fat” = ”bad”. It does not.

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Tell me on Instagram or Facebook where you think I’ve gone right and wrong in this post! I always love hearing your thoughts.

Why Forcing Your Child To Diet Is Child Abuse

I’m here today to write a blog post that I wasn’t expecting to write, but I got so triggered last week by TW: diet culture and kids being forced to diet (or now potentially kids being forced into weight loss surgery) that I had to interrupt your normally scheduled blog programming.

WW (the artist formerly known as Weight Watchers) has released a new app and diet program. For CHILDREN. called Kurbo. ALL THE WHILE. We are now dealing with mouths being forced shut with magnets and weight loss surgery becoming newly available for children. I’m officially SO TIRED and SO OUTRAGED that I feel compelled to share some truths from my youth.

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I was forced into diets for what felt like my entire childhood. I was always either starving or secretly binging. I was an overweight kid. My doctors hated that and it embarrassed my father and so everyone went along and I was forced to diet.

At nine, I was counting calories and worrying about my appearance over everything else. At nine, I was taught to hate myself. At nine, I was taught that I was worthless the way I was and I better change or no one would love me. I had daily weigh-ins and ate dressing-less salads with bare chicken breasts while the rest of my family had full meals. Forget fractions or stickers or crushes, I was worried about my thighs.

I was hungry all the time when I was a kid. I was restricted to as low as 500 calories a day at some points. I was constantly starving. I would scarf down sugar-free jello by the tub-full because it was one of the only “free” foods I could eat. My diets were all doctor-supervised by Kaiser Permanente, and were all sold to my parents under the guise of being “a lifestyle change” and “not about looking skinny, but about being healthy.” Healthy was starving and sugar-free jello.

Spending so much of my childhood dieting stripped me of having one. It was torture. It gave me an eating disorder that I still deal with today. I was playing every sport and was super active, and yet I needed to lose 5 pounds or it felt like everyone thought I would die. Dieting was incredibly detrimental to my mental and physical health.

I was taught to be afraid of food. I was told that I was weak and lazy and worthless unless I could survive on a calorie count that was well below what the U.S. legally considers starving. I was taught that feeling good, energized, and satiated was wrong and unhealthy. That in order to be healthy, I needed to be starving. I was taught to ignore my body and my feelings. I was taught that how I looked was more important than how I felt.

Dieting is detrimental to everyone’s mental and physical health. 90% of eating disorders begin with a diet, 30% of all diets end in an eating disorder, 99% of all dieters gain back all the weight and more, and yo-yo dieting increases your chance of high blood pressure, diabetes, and early death. In the 90s, BMI charts were slashed to sell diet products. There is not an obesity epidemic. There have always been fat people. Weight is not an indicator of health. It’s widely accepted that staying at an originally considered “overweight” weight is much healthier than losing a bunch of weight and then gaining it back, yet people still don’t understand that dieting is dangerous. ESPECIALLY for a CHILD who is not able to give CONSENT to the DIET.

Weight Watchers can rebrand themselves as being about “wellness” and “healthy lifestyles” all they like. Consenting adults who enjoy the community and help that Weight Watchers gives them should go and enjoy! The truth of the matter remains though, that the WW launch of The Kurbo Dieting App for Children is about profit. They know diets don’t work. They know that this app will turn dieting children into dieting adults. Weight Watchers is a company that wants to make money. (The US weight-loss industry grew to $72.2 BILLION dollars last year.) By releasing Kurbo, they are able to turn children into lifelong customers. *a Ka-ching sound chimes over and over again across the USA*

Please. Think about the message you’re sending a child when you force them to diet or talk about a diet in front of them. Think about the mental damage. Think about the physical damage. It’s child abuse. It can be hard to stand up for yourself or a loved one to a Doctor, but think of the cost of not. Let’s teach our children to eat food that makes them feel good. Let’s teach our children to listen to their bodies. Let’s teach our children that they are worth more than their measurements.

Were you forced into diets as a kid? What do you think of this new Weight Watchers ap, Kurbo? Tell me on Instagram and Facebook.

Dating Guide For Fat Girls: Plus Size First Date Outfits

You did it! You’ve got a first date planned with someone really exciting! Yay! But!!! Now comes the tricky part: what do you wear?! You know I gotchu. Today we’re gonna talk about three different first date outfit formulas for plus sized bodies.

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1. Flirty Dress and Sneakers

dress + sneakers + purse + earrings = cutie

A flirty frilly dress is probably my #1 date go-to item. I love feeling girly and swishy on a date. Find a dress that fits you perfectly, that makes you feel like a million bucks, and that is really cute. Never let it go. Hold it tight. Build it a shrine. You get it.

I like to tone down the girliness of the dress with some tennis-shoes. I chose some trendy chonk insta ho tennies here, but if they’re too much for you any white sneakers will do! I love comfy shoes on first dates so that if it feels right to take a walk around you’re prepared.

I chose a really trendy purse here too, I figure it’s important for people to know what they’re getting into if they want to date me, but any purse you like works! :)

2. Blouse and Jeans

similar blouse + jeans + flats + purse + earrings = sophisticated lady

A perfect blouse and jean combo will take you FAR. Finding options for your body that work perfectly will take some time, but once you do? You’ll have a date uniform for the ages.

I like to go with a billowy blouse in a dressed up material. I can either tuck it in or leave it out depending on if I’m feeling insecure about my tummy on that day or not. For the blouse you’re looking for the seeming to be placed perfectly on your shoulder, no buttons that pull (if there are any buttons), and for it to fall nicely around your hips. Other than those things the sky is the limit on sleeves, color, and pattern!

A perfectly fitting jean can be hard to find! I have talked at length about how much I love these Good American jeans, but if supporting Kardashians isn’t your style (totally get it) I am starting to fall in love with DL1961 so give their skinny jeans a try!

3. LBD and a Heel

dress + strappy heel + earrings + choker + purse = classic hottie

You need a Little Black Dress! You need several! Little Black Dresses are those fail-safe pieces that you know you can always throw on if you’re having an “I have nothing to wear” day! The LBD I have on here I love because it is still a little casual, and the buttons and collar give it some special visual interest!

I rarely wear heels, and tbh would probably never ever wear a stiletto on a first date again (I did once and it was wild maybe I’ll tell that story one day but not today lol) so these strappy sandals with a small block heel are the perfect elevation. Again! You want the option to walk around if it feels right! The walk after a date is where the romantic magic happens.

That’s it! After you’re dressed remember to be yourself, be curious, and remember that you’re the shit and anyone would be lucky to date you! It’s about if you like them and if you two vibe together, not about making anyone like you. Tell me your first date outfits and tips on Instagram or Facebook!

25 Sale Accessories That Are Perfect For Summer

I live my life by a very simple principle: “accessories make the outfit”. My Momma has always told me so and she knows what’s up. And so: rings, earrings, shoes, bags, scarves, and anything else I could turn into a hair accessory became my best friends. I may have been too fat to fit into every clothing item I wanted to, but a shoe or an earring or a hat would always work.

I’m wearing a size small here. Really goes to show that size on the tag means nothing!

dress.printed dress.sale dress

Accessories became a way for me to get the sweet hit of getting-something-new-dopamine that capitalism has conditioned us to crave without having the mental breakdown of jeans not pulling up past my thighs. Fitting rooms are a much more fun experience now, but I still am deeply fond of my accessories. So! Today I have rounded up 25 of my favorite Summer Accessories that just also happen to be on sale (or are really cheap) right now!

Anthropologie

Nordstrom

Urban Outfitters

Target

J.Crew

The hat makes the outfit! Tell me your favorites that I’ve listed here and your accessories mantras on Instagram and Facebook!

Tbh while making this list I was struck by how hard it was to find affordable and trendy accessories…I think I might have to do something about that…check back next week to see what that is. ;)

Fitting Room Breakdowns: What To Do When Clothes Don't Fit

One of the perks of being an actor is having many glorious day jobs ;). One of my day jobs is in a mall…which is dangerous for me…because I shop too much. Shopping has always been one of my favorite things to do. I love to walk through beautiful stores and look at the beautiful fashion, it’s like going to a museum.

Trying on clothes however, is a different story. Actually placing clothes on my body can be v v v triggering for me. CUT TO a montage of me weeping in copious dressing rooms over the years because the size 12 or 14 was still WAY too small on me. Shopping with friends even still usually includes me trying nothing on because a store doesn’t carry my size.

I was shopping in Nordstrom after a shift one day last week and I found so many amazingly adorable things that I will show you now check it out:

top.skirt.sandals

dress

dress

I then tried on a size Large dress that I thought was going to be ok. I am in no way a size Large, but this dress looked generous and you never know, right? Lol. Major wrong. My L white dream quickly turned into an XXXL nightmare. The dress was way too small.

dress

In the past a dress this small would’ve cued a major mental breakdown and shame spiral that would’ve lasted for hours. I would’ve blamed myself for being so fat, I would’ve cursed God for making me this way, I would’ve told myself that I was so disgusting that no one would ever want me, and it would’ve gone on and on and on.

But last week instead of letting one piece of clothing make me hate myself, I laughed. It’s funny! Look at that dress it’s way too small! The dress doesn’t fit me and that’s O.K.

The next time you are in a dressing room, looking at every inch of your body under horrible lighting and something doesn’t fit, remember these words: The garment is wrong, not you. You are perfect! The dress just is the wrong size. Every single company has different fit models and therefore every brand is going to fit you differently and therefore the size on the tag means literally nothing and therefore the dress is wrong. Not. You.

You are a gorgeous and glorious ray of light from the universe who is magnificent and some fabric doesn’t change that! Look at yourself stuffed like a sausage, laugh, and move onto the next piece of clothing that does fit.

How do you handle dressing room stress? Tell me on Instagram or Facebook!

To All The Fat Girls At The Beach

Today I want to write a little something for all the fat girls (or anyone who is feeling self-conscious) at the beach! If you’re feeling like what you look like in a swimsuit is scaring you into avoiding activities you would otherwise want to attend, I want to reach out with a little love and say that you are beach ready as you are right now.

These are pictures of me at the beach. This is not that serious.

But it feels serious! I’ve been scared to post these pictures to my blog. I’ve been self conscious about my belly/my body for literally my whole life. There was never a waking second of my life where I was not sucking my stomach in until about a year ago. So to post it?? To put it on the internet for however many people to see??? Feels very serious!

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But honestly? These are just pictures. The people at that beach saw my body that day. The people who see me in life see my body every day. So posting a picture? While it feels like a big deal to me, in the scheme of every damn thing happening on this Earth right now is not 💃🏻 that 💃🏻 serious 💃🏻!

I feel hot in these pictures. I feel happy and confident and free in these pictures. So I’m sharing them with you! It’s not that serious! (I gotta keep reminding myself)

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In 2019 we’re loving ourselves at the beach! We’re loving everything about our bodies! We’re not avoiding pool parties or beach bbqs or beach days because we’re afraid of what people might comment about our bodies! We’re human beings who are allowed to feel hot and beautiful and carefree at the beach!

Remembering that we’re allowed to take up space, remembering that we don’t owe anyone a specific “perfect” body, and remembering that we can have fun just like everyone else is so important! It’s almost Summer, it’s going to be so hot, and we should be outside enjoying every Summer activity if we want to, just like everyone else!

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Please don’t let feeling too thin, too fat, too weak, too different in any way rob you of your joy! I’m the beach boss and I say everyone is allowed to have fun.

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I’ve included a few of my favorite bikinis here juuuuust in case you are now inspired to try something new! I love you! Tell me all about your swimsuit feelings on Instagram or Facebook!

Spring Dresses You Need RN TBH

DRESSES! FOR SPRING? GROUNDBREAKING! But legit new sundresses are the best part of spring and here are so many new spring styles I’m coveting rn. Dresses are my truest passion so I thought I would round my current favorites up for you. The best part? I have a bunch of dresses on this list for all shapes and sizes, because everyone deserves to feel flirty and cool and O-M-Fricken-G are these babies adorbs.

Reformation - Straight Sizes and Plus Sizes

eShakti - Straight Sizes and Plus Sizes

Anthropologie - Straight Sizes and Plus Sizes

Eloquii - Plus Sizes

Nordstrom - Straight Sizes and Plus Sizes

Loft - Straight Sizes and Plus Sizes

Target - Straight Sizes and Plus Sizes

J. Crew - Straight Sizes and Plus Sizes

DollsKill - Straight Sizes and Plus Sizes

Old Navy - Straight Sizes and Plus Sizes

Gal Meets Glam - Straight Sizes and Plus Sizes

Ok so aren’t they AMAZE?!! Tell me your favorites on Instagram and Facebook!

How To Look Like Aidy Bryant's Character In Shrill

Shrill is here! The moment we’ve all been waiting for! I’ll be doing an in-depth convo post soon, but until then, I want to focus on our girl’s ~*LEWKS*~! While her costumes were custom made for her, we can still get her look with pieces from our favorite size-inclusive retailers! Yas!

The cutest lil date-nite wrap dress.

This hard/soft leather jacket/dress combo great for everything from work to taking pregnancy tests.

Cute jacket friendship!

These custom dresses need to be sold as Shrill merch! She wears five or six different versions of this dress throughout the season. They are PERFECT and hard to find dupes of.

So cute! So casge (abbrev of “casual”).

This one dress was hard to find and LEGIT does not exist anywhere! One of a kind :) because I couldn’t find a true dupe, I put cute orange dresses that give a semi-similar feel.

Bonus round! The pool episode is EVERYTHING and they all look so cute! This image is not Aidy Bryant, but it is now ICONIC.

Yay! Aidy looks so cute in life always, but also in Shrill! While you can’t get the exact pieces, hopefully these suggestions help you catch the vibe you’re looking for! Which look is your favorite?! Tell me on Instagram and Facebook!

Images of Shrill are courtesy of hulu. I do not own any images.

Tights Tights Baby

Hi bbs! It’s winter everywhere and you know what that means! Say it with me! Cold. Weather. Accessories!

I crave the feeling of being a sausage so tights are my dear and loyal friends (sounds sarcastic, but I am very serious). I want to share some favorites of this season with you. Time to show off those gams!

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I hope you enjoyed these cuuuuute and size inclusive tights! I cannot lie I haven’t tried all of these, but I know the spanx tights will change your life (they never snag or run!) and they’re all very cute!

Give me your tights recommendations on Instagram or Facebook! I could always use some more.